blowup

one of my most favorite people came in today to the store. she told me BlowUp was playing at BAM. she is also the one who told me 3 years ago to keep my dark roots of my blonde bits, because they were in & "Carrie" would have them in the next season of sex & the city (she does hair, specifically for the likes of SJP & whatnot). today i told her i was thinking of going back to my blonde bits. she said "no, don't! i love your hair dark." she's right, i suppose...i guess i will bike my brunette locks to bklyn & see blow up. coincidentally, this was right after i spent the afternoon hating my life, my job choices, my stagnant stubborn negligence to my true talents, and basically feeling sorry for myself. and then in walks someone who i would probably never cross paths with if i was not still at the same job that she met me at 4 years ago & tells me my favorite movie is playing & that i should stay dark haired, and well... all that feeling bad about myself was lost. i went to get my 5th iced coffee, after she left, telling myself that it could always be worse, and then i saw this guy who could barely walk from the deformities in his legs, and here he was plugging away at walking down houston. and i started to cry. i have it so good sometimes, but i'm always searching for more. what the fuck is wrong with me. everytime i see a handicapped person i hear the voice of my father telling me that i should be happy i can hear, can talk, can run, can walk because some people don't even have that... and i cry. becauase i was really lucky to have had a parent who taught me to be thankful for what i have. just wish he was here to remind me of that sometimes. or that he was here so i could tell him thank you & that he did okay raising me. i'm allright. just a little lost sometimes. oh & go see BLOWUP @ BAM. with me. xo

it's the original too, all gritty & not stupid fukken digitally remastered... 1966 film version.